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Top 5 Wimpiest College Mascots

Top 5 Wimpiest College Mascots
University of AlabamaUniversity of MarylandGeorgetown UniversitySyracuse UniversityUniversity of OregonUniversity of MarylandGeorgetown UniversitySyracuse UniversityUniversity of Oregon

#5- University of Alabama
Big Al, the snugly elephant, who dances and waves crimson and white pompoms, is so sweet. The only intimidating feature of Big Al is that he could sit and crush his opponents! I just want to run up and give him a giant hug.

#4- University of Maryland
“Fear the Turtle.” Really? Fear the turtle? Turtles are not capable of spreading terror, especially because when a turtle is frightened it cowers in its own shell. Turtles are delightful and calm creatures, which is what makes people love them as pets. There is no fear here for the slow moving reptile!

#3- Georgetown University
Jack the Bulldog is wrinkly and flat-nosed and comes in third on the list. Those huge puppy dog eyes will get you every time! Jack just needs picked up, squeezed and loved. No wonder people are obsessed with their dogs!

#2- Syracuse University
Otto the Orange, a huge orange round, well, orange. Why would a university designate their mascot to be a piece of fruit? What next, a grape or banana? Oh wait, a banana would be too phallic or maybe that would get more ladies to come to football games. I would definitely go to more football games if I could see a dancing banana AND hot guys in tight pants. Touchdown! Anyway, yes an orange is their mascot. Perhaps Fruit of the Loom played a role in this one.

#1- University of Oregon
How lovable are ducks? With that waddle and those bright orange feet. The University of Oregon comes in at Numero Uno with the cutest mascot, Donald Duck. Using Donald as an university mascot is somewhat debatable, no one can understand what he is saying, let alone intimidate an opponent. How can feathery duck compete against a Fighting Trojan or a Texas Longhorn? Well, it just can’t. 





 

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Comments

Anonymous
I love you otto, don't let them get you down! Posted 06/11/2008 09:57 AMReply
PoisonIvy
where's stanford on the list? I mean, the bands mascot is a tree, but the SCHOOL's mascot is a color. Come on! Posted 06/11/2008 10:12 AMReply
Anonymous
Yuck! Posted 06/11/2008 11:52 AMReply
Anonymous
how about Penn. Fighting Quakers. think about it... Posted 06/11/2008 4:51 PMReply
Anonymous
Check out the video of the Duck beating the S#@! out of the Houston Cougar mascot at the game this year and then tell me who is the wimpiest mascot! Posted 06/12/2008 09:04 AMReply
Anonymous
Ohio State is a Nut! Posted 06/12/2008 09:06 AMReply
Anonymous
I guess you guys never saw the duck take down the cougar, and voted what, I think the "scariest mascot" by SI? Have fun redoing this list Posted 06/12/2008 09:09 AMReply
Anonymous
Nebraska's Big Red looks like Bob's Big Boy. It can barely stand upright for the entire game. Posted 06/12/2008 09:34 AMReply
Anonymous
where is the KU Jayhawk? Posted 06/12/2008 09:35 AMReply
Jessica Almanza
UDEL has a blue hen. Scary, huh? Posted 06/12/2008 09:42 AMReply
Anonymous
what about the Stanford tree??? Posted 06/12/2008 09:43 AMReply
Anonymous
i am not sure if this is as much wimpy as it is nerdy, but the university of the sciences in Philadelphia mascot is a devil wearing a lab coat and lab goggles. Posted 06/12/2008 09:48 AMReply
Anonymous
What about the Gamecocks of S.C. Posted 06/12/2008 09:59 AMReply
Anonymous
How could you leave out the kansas gayhawks? Posted 06/12/2008 10:04 AMReply
Anonymous
This is a pathetic list. No tree? No Banana Slugs? And search for Oregon's Donald Duck on YouTube to find some beatings he laid down on the Houston Cougar, as well as the Oregon St. Beaver. Do some homework next time. Posted 06/12/2008 11:08 AMReply
Anonymous
What's a "Fighting Trogon?" Posted 06/12/2008 11:50 AMReply
Anonymous
Apparently you haven't seen this which was all over the net last year?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkbKjtuNJhQ

This guy=poser college football fan.
Posted 06/12/2008 11:59 AMReply
Lil' G
Just because Donald Duck is violent and beats up another mascot doesn't mean he is tough. It means he is a bully. We ALL know Michigan wouldn't be on this list! Posted 06/12/2008 1:01 PMReply
Anonymous
Isn't a mascot only as tough as their football team Lil'G. So that makes the Oregon Ducks 32 points tougher than a Michigan Wolverine!

And by the way, the Duck has also taken out a certain Longhorn, Buffalo and a certain Trojan last year. Don't judge a book by it's cover, or a Duck by it's big orange feet.

GO DUCKS!
Posted 06/12/2008 1:43 PMReply
Anonymous
Donald is cute, but dont get him angry, as a youth, I believe I recall seeing him grow little devil horns, have steam come out of his ears, and flat out loose his cool when taunted or teased, and as for real ducks, if you dont pay attetion, they have been know to get nasty. For the yo-yo, that said the Duck was just a bully, get a life. FYI I understand the the Duck still has a kid brother, from another mother, that some us Duck fans still remember, ROBO DUCK. I still think that he may be a better representative for the football Team. We more mature Duck fans, still think them as the "Fighting DUCKS" Posted 06/12/2008 2:14 PMReply
Anonymous
I agree with the Stanford tree, but what about the UNC "ram". Just about as sissy as it gets. Posted 06/12/2008 2:22 PMReply
Anonymous
He's right, the North Carolina mascot is pretty pathetic. Posted 06/12/2008 2:25 PMReply
Anonymous
this is bull....testudo is an ace..... Posted 06/12/2008 3:51 PMReply
Anonymous
Fighting trojan? A condom is scary? Posted 06/12/2008 5:10 PMReply
Anonymous
The mascot for Whittier College is the Poet. To make matters worse, the school colors are purple... and... well you get the idea. Posted 06/12/2008 6:58 PMReply
Anonymous
The real list should be:

1.) The Ohio State Buckeyes- There mascot is a nut. It's not even a whole tree like Stanford: it's something the tree crapped out. I know from every pompous student of "the" Ohio State University that the buckeye is poisonous. However, anyone dumb enough to swallow a foreign nut probably deserves what comes to them.

2. Syracuse Orangemen- In addition to the reasons listed above, when was the last time you saw an orange in Syracuse, New York?

3. Duke Blue Devils- Why? The Blue Devil mascot is actually named after French soldiers. Naming your mascot after a group of people who's fight song is "I surrender" is incredibly lame.

4. Kansas Jayhawks- Naming your mascot after a wimpy non-existent bird is bad. Naming your mascot after a bunch of Civil war veterans who got their butts kicked so bad by Missouri Bushwhackers that the inspired the term "bleeding Kansas" is worse.

5. Maryland
Posted 06/12/2008 8:29 PMReply
Anonymous
(Dis)Honorable Mentions: Brandeis Judges. Tulane Green Tide with Pelican as Mascot? Harvard Crimson with Pilgrim as mascot. Posted 06/12/2008 8:34 PMReply
Anonymous
A Beaver.......? it eats trees, sooo, I guess the tree is wimpier, anything else,I dunno.. Posted 06/12/2008 8:56 PMReply
Anonymous
Saturday mornings notwithstanding, the UTSA Roadrunner has got to be on this list. I mean the damn thing runs away - RUNS AWAY - from its opponent Posted 06/13/2008 11:47 AMReply
Anonymous
The Duck kicks butt! Posted 06/14/2008 4:08 PMReply
Anonymous
yeah seriously buckeyes should be on the list. Posted 06/14/2008 4:51 PMReply
Anonymous
Apparently the author of this column has never seen Donald's MMA skills

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_aaYih92ss

what does your mascot know about ground and pound?
Posted 06/14/2008 6:28 PMReply
Anonymous
Obviously you have never seen our Quack attack!! Posted 06/14/2008 7:41 PMReply
Anonymous
Cardinal, Bannana Slugs, Geoducks, Aardvarks, etc.
Absolutely no research went into this piece.
Posted 06/14/2008 10:34 PMReply
Anonymous
Uh, how about an Ohio State Buckeye (what in the heck is a buckeye...looks like a relative of the Syracuse Orange head dude)?...what about the Santa Cruz Banana Slugs? What about the Stanford "tree"...now that's just weird? Posted 06/14/2008 11:57 PMReply
Anonymous
All the YouTube video illustrates is that Oregon fans are, like their mascot, easily the trashiest fans in college football. Last time I was at Autzen I witnessed students urinating on a group of opposing fans (all over the age of 50) as they were leaving the stadium. Talk to me about the Quack Attack when you're not buying referees (see Oregon vs. Oklahoma), or manage to break the top 100 U.S. colleges in academics. Posted 06/15/2008 03:43 AMReply
Anonymous
This is, hands down, the wimpiest mascot of all time (narrowly beating the banana slug):
http://www.evergreen.edu/athletics/geoduck.htm
Posted 06/15/2008 06:34 AMReply
Anonymous
I cannot belive you forgot the Stanford TREE! Definitely the worst mascot in college football. Posted 06/15/2008 07:21 AMReply
Anonymous
It's not the size of the Duck in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the DUCK!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=nkbKjtuNJhQ
Posted 06/15/2008 09:59 AMReply
Anonymous
No mention of the Stanford Christmas tree? Posted 06/15/2008 10:20 AMReply
Anonymous
The Duck can compete and beat them both the last times they have met!!!!!!! Posted 06/15/2008 12:15 PMReply
Anonymous
Ask the Houston Cougar about the Duck mascot. He got his a$$ BEAT down! Posted 06/15/2008 2:19 PMReply
Anonymous
Otto's been through alot more derision than this article can EVER impose on him! He's got tough skin, uhm I mean,"peel"! If necessary, he will squirt angrily to make his point! Go get 'em, OTTO! Fear the CITRUS!!! Posted 06/15/2008 7:01 PMReply
Anonymous
Easily the buckeye. Its a freakin nut. Stupid Stanford tree is second. Posted 06/15/2008 10:24 PMReply
Anonymous
Have you seen Benny Beaver? Posted 06/15/2008 10:25 PMReply
Anonymous
I'm a big duck fan and I'll admit that we have some mascot issues to overcome, but let's take a second and consider a couple:

#1 Williams College 'Purple Cows' - Come on! That has to get a mention!
#2 UC Santa Cruz 'Banana Slugs"- are you kidding me!
#3 Dartmouth's 'keg of beer' - I understand that it is their 'unofficial mascot' but keep in mind that Dartmouth has no 'official' mascot.
#4 Stanford - It is obscure and stupid: A tree and a color.
#5 TCU 'Horned Frogs' - good grief...
#6 Last but not least, the Houston Cougar. Just because I was at the game where the Oregon Duck beat the c--- out of him. The guy interrupted an Oregon Tradition that he should have left alone. He deserved what he got.
Posted 06/15/2008 11:08 PMReply
Anonymous
haha.. Yeah I saw that clip of the Duck thrashing the Cougar..the author of this article obviously is older and may not know what Youtube is. Posted 06/16/2008 10:28 AMReply
Anonymous
I wholeheartedly agree that the Fightin' Quaker is the worst mascot ever. I had to sit next to him once. Then again, being a Princeton man inspires my hatred of all things Penn.

The Stanford Tree is a BAMF. Its a freakin' redwood! Dartmouth's Keggy the Keg is not a mascot, but rather the leader of a Bacchanalian cult (see "Drinkin' Time" on Youtube). Otherwise, I agree with the previous posts.
Posted 06/16/2008 11:49 AMReply
Anonymous
The Duck is the coolest ultimate amphibious flight fighting machine. Posted 06/16/2008 4:35 PMReply
Anonymous
Any mascot list without ohio state or stanford on the list is an absolute joke. a duck got ahead of a nut and a tree?????? ridiculous.... Posted 06/16/2008 6:41 PMReply
Anonymous
terrible list...what about western kentucky's hilltopper? it's always on the sc commercials.. it looks like a giant red hershey's kiss Posted 06/16/2008 7:59 PMReply
Photo Chick
Don't knock Big Red from WKU. He is the best mascot! Posted 06/17/2008 10:33 AMReply
Anonymous
Ducks are the gayest form of animal life, excluding the queers who root for them on a football field. Posted 06/17/2008 1:01 PMReply
Anonymous
LA Tech's mascot is the best by far. Posted 06/17/2008 7:14 PMReply
Anonymous
George Mason's whatchamacallit Gunston comes off like some reject from Sesame Street. How can it not be among the wimpiest? Posted 06/18/2008 8:55 PMReply
Anonymous
What about the a$$ whipping the Duck put on the UH cougar. I wouldn't mess with him. Posted 06/19/2008 12:12 PMReply
Anonymous
Ummm.... anyone see a Minnesota game lately? Besides my old High school in Hueytown, AL, they are the only "Golden Gopher" macot I've ever seen. Granted, thanks to some talented artists we had in my graduating class, we had some bad-@$$ loking artist renderings on homecoming t's and pep rally posters, but our actual mascot usually looked pretty cute & harmless. Posted 08/24/2008 11:54 PMReply

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