Gainesville during Gator Growl weekend, quite inexplicably so, becomes the place to be year after year. The only thing that differentiates this weekend from any other football weekend is that there’s a pep rally that no one will be attending. Steve Miller Band? Really?

But even so, this is always the weekend that people want to come to visit. If you’re not housing at least two out-of-towners, you need more friends. So here are some helpful tips on how to prepare for the best homecoming weekend in the nation:

1. Stock up on the essentials. At the heart of Gator Growl is the almighty booze. In order to figure out how much you should buy before Friday, you should ballpark how much you think you and your guests, roommates and other crashers will be drinking. Then multiply it by three. There’s nothing wrong with having beer leftover after the weekend, but to run out mid-party is a serious offense.

 

2. Figure out the parking situation. In order to have a smoothly run weekend, you’ll want to have people safely park at your place. Take my word for it, there’s no faster way to clear a party than to have several people get their cars towed. Not even cops have that kind of power. So make sure you are aware of the parking policies in your complex and get parking passes if necessary.

 

3. Food. With drinking comes the drunk munchies and with the amount of people sure to be in town, possibly in your apartment, you want to have everything ready for a mob of starving drunk people. You can buy snacks in anticipation but more than likely after about 10 minutes, your fridge and cabinets will be left empty. So program Five Star, Gumby’s and Dominos’ numbers into your phone right now. That way, when the hunger strikes, you’ll be ready wherever you are.

 

4. Arranging game plans. Ah, Gator football. After all, this is what makes this weekend possible. By now, if your friends want tickets, they probably have them. But for those procrastinators, or the people who decided to show up Friday night at 5 am with a sleeping bag (it’s been known to happen) and who want tickets, your best bet is to walk around campus and University Ave. on Saturday morning to see if you can get a good price. If your guests aren’t going to the game and you are, make sure you leave them at home or at a good bar with a beer in their hands and a smile on their faces.

 

5. Mentally and physically prepare. In the coming 24 hours, you’ll want to treat your body well, eat properly and drink tons of water. Quiet excited reflection is encouraged in order to offset the non-stop liver damage you will submit your body to over the course of the weekend.

Remember: Don’t drink and drive, don’t puke on your friends’ rug, don’t hook up with ugly people and in order to maximize the getting buck potential you should be at a minimum level of *pretty buzzed* all weekend…even while you sleep. LET THE GATOR GROWL!!